If you sew and other people know that you sew, I’m sure you get asked to sew up stuff for them. I LOVE TO SEW …. but not generally for other people…. I do not buy my clothing anymore (with the exception of lingerie, etc) and I sew my own wardrobe. I am not the quickest sewer, so I don’t generally produce new dresses in a day. Although since I got my eyes “fixed”, sewing for me is quite a bit faster. Even things like cutting a pattern out take me less time than they used to as I don’t have to squint and concentrate anymore. I like to spend my time sewing garments for myself, frankly, and not others. I guess that people who go out and buy what they want to wear instead of creating it themselves don’t really understand this concept. If I want a new dress or a shirt or a skirt, I get my pattern out, buy my fabric and add it to my sewing list. It isn’t the same as running out to a store and getting instant gratification. It takes time and planning. And my time is very valuable to me.
That isn’t to say that I don’t like making things for other people, but it is a labor of love for me. I have on my list for the next month to make a shirt for my husband, a dress for both my MIL and my husband’s aunt, and a special vintage dress for a good friend of mine. None of these people asked me to make them these things and all of these people are special to me, so I will take time out of my “sewing for me” list — which it quite honestly important to me — to sew for them.
However, some people seem to think that whipping up a dress takes little time and that I can just blast out items for them. I am not a store. I am not a dressmaker’s shop. I like to post a few photos on my personal FB page of my makes as I am proud of them. I don’t post them there with dollar signs attached to them and a checkout cart. And yet I still occasionally get a comment (and usually from someone who is just an acquaintance): “Will you make dresses for me?” I used to give people a figure upwards of $70-$100 for a custom dress and they would never like the price and leave me alone after that. I guess people think that a custom dress with many hours of labor should be sold for the same price as a cheap mass-market factory-made dress? I don’t think so.
Lately, I’ve been telling people who ask that, that I will give them tips on SEWING THEIR OWN STUFF and point them in the direction of some useful sewing tutorials on blogs and YouTube so that they can MAKE IT THEMSELVES. After all, it does not take a PhD in mechanical engineering to operate a sewing machine…. But the answer I usually get is: “I can’t sew”. In my opinion that generally means: “I don’t want to learn how to sew.” Perhaps I am more a do-it-yourself person than others whereas I like to figure things out on my own and I am of the opinion that I can learn to do just about anything. Other people don’t seem to think this way.
What is your opinion of sewing for others? Do you like to do sewing favors? What do you say when you get asked to reproduce an item you’ve made for yourself?
I shall get back to my selfish sewing this afternoon. I don’t have children of the two-legged nature and I imagine if I did I would be sewing a lot for them as well. But for now, I’m the top priority. On to my sewing list….
Happy Sewing!
I just learned about your blog through the Curvy Sewing Collective, and this post caught my eye immediately! I definitely hate sewing for people other than myself, unless, as some have mentioned, it’s something I decided to do on my own as a gift. I get really excited about those sorts of projects on the rare occasions when I decide to do them.
Most people who ask me about sewing for them don’t understand fair prices for custom-sewn garments, but others believe they’re doing me a favor by offering me the business. While the idea of earning money to buy more fabric and patterns is enticing, I inevitably end up in tears at my sewing machine when something goes wrong, crying to my husband, “I didn’t even want to do this!”
I’m pretty proud of myself – I just told someone no when she asked me to make a dress. She was willing to pay a fair price, I believe, but I just got stressed out even thinking about doing it, so I declined even though it’s very hard for me to say no. She accepted my answer graciously, so I hope that gives me more confidence to say no in the future!
HI Gail!! Don’t you hate it when it takes longer than you thought it would and you’re behind with the other things you wanted to sew? That’s gotta be the worst!!! Kudos to you for saying “no”! I’ve done pretty well saying that word lately! 🙂
Love the eCard! I need a copy of that on my wall.
Generally I don’t sew for other people, my kids being the exception. They see how much time and work it takes so they really appreciate what I do.
Most people though have NO idea of the time involved and I swear if one more person says “oh you can make this for me and I’ll let you keep the scraps” I might just lose it. LOL
That being said every once in a while I will take on a project because it’s a chance to learn something new. Sometimes I even get surprised and get paid real money for it. That’s a rarity though.
I’m part of the Selfish Seamstress Cadre!
People who don’t sew just don’t know what’s involved, do they? I’m glad I’m not alone being a selfish seamstress!
The title of this post drew me in straight away! I said to myself ‘pah! No!’ And the e card image is hilarious!
I do have an Etsy shop, so I suppose I kind of sew for others, but not everything in my shop is sewn or made from fabric, so that’s a bit different. But fixing peoples clothes or sewing their curtains, no thank you 🙂
I think it’s the fact that although I love to make things, and yeah, some things I am good at making, I just want to make it for me! No one else! I get attached to what I’ve made too, especially if it was a particularly stressful project!
Maybe we are just selfish sew-ers! Haha 🙂
I wanted to nominate you for the Liebster Award, but I realized you already received it. Of course you did! You have an awesome blog.
Thanks, Annette! Yes, I just got nominated a few weeks ago! 🙂
I think the key is to not be asked to do it. If I’m sewing for someone because I offered to fix something or I want to make them something nice then it’s fine, though I still tend to not really like the process. If someone asks me to do something… not so much. Especially when my decline is followed by, “but pillow covers are so fast and easy!” Ugh.
I sew for others that are important to me and like you have found people think custom made things should not cost a lot and take much less time to create. They just don’t get it.
They certainly don’t, do they? I have felt bad charging a lot for something to be altered or a custom item, but the time it takes to make something and the supplies should all equal in the cost and our time isn’t cheap!
I totally agree and back you up 100%. I “refuse” to sew for someone for money. They expect to be a perfect fit, and I am not a seamstress. I sew as a hobby. And when they ask me to do something for them I tell them get your fabric and bring it to me….I am still waiting LOL
I think you’ll be waiting a long time!!! lol 🙂
I have become very cautious taking on sewing projects for others, I have previously been raked over the coals. At one point in time I would attempt every request that changed when I had been asked to produce a custom dress in a 2 day turnaround which I completed having bought all the materials out of my pocket. In return for my myriad amazing sewing/ drafting/ designing skills and diligent adherence of the time frame I received LESS than a proper THANK YOU and the kicker was that the client did not even wear the dress! I was devastated and belittled. Making lemons into lemon-aid… that experience led me to draw up a custom sewing contract that completely outlines time frames and cost which has kept non serious clients at bay.
One thing that I can not seem to shake is alterations for others. I made the mistake of hemming one pair of pants for someone at work and now I am nothing more than an unpaid garment fixer. Fixing a garment now and again is one thing but now that it is an almost weekly occurrence it is a big problem. I have two days off a week which I like to reserve for my own sewing endeavors yet weekly I find myself switching thread colors (thread I purchased mind you) to replace zips, hem or alter fits for my co-workers?! I have previously worked in alterations and know the going rates for mending but I am doing it for mere pennies out of guilt and it makes me so mad. A taco for lunch is never a fair trade for ANY alteration. But always starts the same, “Melody, you fixed Jane Doe’s skirt it is amazing you are so great! So you can fix my _________ right? Please, please, pretty please.” I keep telling myself if I fix one thing for everyone then the free ride (aka my guilt) will end. To be determined.
Oh, Melody, I feel your pain! My MIL also made a dress for someone like that that they didn’t even wear it nor did they say thank you! Just say no!!! I know how hard it is though to do so as you don’t want to sound mean. I wish you much more time for yourself and less time sharing your amazing sewing skills with others.
Would you share your contract with us sewists?
I rarely sew for others, I have a few coworkers that I will do repairs for and a godbabe that is too young to be pushy, but the husband summed it up that this is my stress outlet- it needs to be all about me or its just more like work. God bless him!
I feel you!! And God bless your husband!! Mine is the same way except that he can be a bit pushy sometimes when he wants a button sewn on and I take weeks to do it…..
Yes, I’m totally with Annette in this one … I do like to sew for people if its a surprise … So I pick the fabric I love and a pattern I like and then there is no expectation as they don’t know it’s coming. My worst ask is if people want me to do alterations!! No way. I can’t think if anything worse. My sewing time is limited so I need to only make things I enjoy.
Lately, if asked if I take on sewing commissions I smile sweetly and say, “Yes, but you can’t afford me!” 😉
Sewing surprises are the best aren’t they? 🙂 I am always unsure about choosing fabrics for others. Fortunately, my MIL picked out the fabric for her dress and her sisters’ so I didn’t have to! Alterations sure do suck! I don’t even like doing them for myself!!!!! And that certainly is a great comeback!!!!
Yes, well said! I sew for family and myself and enjoy it, but my experiences with the commercial side have cured me of going into business! I have done alterations for work colleagues and ended up undercharging because they have no idea the work that goes into customising RTW. I make my own lingerie and have been asked if I would do it for others. When I quote an hourly rate of $30, they are all happy, but when I say a pair of knickers would be around $15 and a bra around $90-$120 they balk! The sewing blog world is lovely because I can express myself to like-minded people who understand the time and effort that goes into each piece of clothing I make.
People who don’t sew don’t realize the time and effort it takes, do they? I’m happy to have this community as well!
I do like to sew for others, but when I wants to. It feels selfish to here myself say it, but it is exhausting and stressful to sew for others. I want it to be perfect. I also sew out of love for others and if it is not on my terms it is no longer love.
I tell people that I will teach them, that I have another machine. I then tell them we should find a time to shop for a pattern–but to check the sales first, to set aside time to look for fabric and we can set aside a couple chunks of time–a couple hours at least and for several different days. For some reason I don’t hear back. Hmmm.
I enjoy
You hit the nail on the head, Annette. If it not on our terms, it’s not so much fun anymore, is it? I have offered to teach people as well as I have another machine and a big sewing space, but no one has taken me up on the offer yet. I even bought some extra sewing tools, too, so a beginner wouldn’t have to use mine.
Tanya, the reason I started blogging was that non of my real life friends would learn. So now I share with my friends from around the globe of different skill levels and interest levels. We all love to sew, share, learn and be inspired by each other.
That’s why I blog as well. I have had learned so much from sewing blogs and am happy to be a part of this community. I m fortunate to have my MIL here though as she sews daily (and for her business) and we love to go fabric shopping together. 🙂
I’ve not yet sewn for anyone else. I do have plans to sew a couple things for my husband- the man picked out his own patterns and fabric, How could I say no? But, I don’t think I would enjoy sewing for anyone else. I don’t like to knit for other people very often. I only enjoy knitting for someone else when it’s my idea to do it. If I’m asked, I flatly respond, “NO”. My hobbies are for me. It’s how I escape everything and everyone else.
How could you say no to that, Michelle? 🙂 I did knit some scarves for Christmas presents this past year, but I don’t think I’d knit more than that although it would depend upon whom I was knitting for. It doesn’t really matter now anyway, as I haven’t progressed beyond knitting scarves!
Ahhhh I know what you mean 🙂
Most of my sewing has been for my friends’ children and they’re incredibly fast projects and getting a photo of them wearing it is more than enough reward.
When it comes to adults though, like you I only really do it as surprise presents. I made something for each member of my family for Xmas but it took forever and I’m a little worried I set a precedent! However a little something is currently winging it’s way to my best friend in the uk and knowing how much she’ll like it gives me the warm and fuzzies.
Also a custom dress should be a lot more than $100!!! I quote people $2,000 for a copy of my coat 😉
It’s always nice to sew stuff up and see people wearing it, isn’t it?? 🙂 Especially kids! And yes, I know such garments should be charged more for, but it seems like $100 for a custom dress is still too high for people!
Well said! I hate when people ask if i can just……. No i cant!
Just say “NO”, Nikie!!!! I’m learning to do that, too!!!
I have been sewing since I was 15 years old, and although most of my sewing has been for myself, I have sewn for others over the years from time to time. I enjoyed sewing for my daughter as she was growing up, of course, and in my young single days a sewing friend and I used to trade sewing skills for things like dance lessons, typing, etc. I have done work for interior decorators in the past, as well as sewed apparel as a business, but I never felt I was paid as well as I should have been for my work (which was my fault, looking back on it). I haven’t really sewn for others since making party dresses for my daughter in her teen years. My sewing has been sporadic since then, but I do have a better sewing area now and more time, so I expect to sew much more now. If someone asks me to sew for them these days, I’ll likely refuse, but yes, if it’s a project I really want to do, I’ll consider it. And ask a fair price!
People never seem to realize how much things cost do they? And how your time is worth money. I think that is why I don’t like sewing for other people for money. I did do some tailoring and bridal work for about a year and I found that I did not like doing it. People can be flaky, they often don’t give you enough time to do the work and a lot don’t want to pay you fairly.
I like this post. I have mended things for non family members or hemmed things and have done a little custom sewing. I didn’t like doing it because the people never seemed to have time to come by for the necessary fittings either.
I enjoy your blog and am inspired by all your pretty dresses,
And about your eyes, my husband has worn thick glasses since he was in diapers. He just had cataract surgery on both eyes and now sees distance 20-20 and only needs weak reading glasses for close work. I am happy BOTH of you have improved vision. Thank God for modern opthalmology and skilled surgeons.
Thank you, Rhonda. I know what you mean about people and their fittings! Thank God I have an adjustable dressform for when I do sew for others! I bet your husband is so so happy to have his eyesight back!!! I feel very fortunate to have mine and very thankful for it. 🙂